The Recruiters Guide to Being a Good Recruiter

ft_interview_mainThere’s a lot of blogs and articles that focus on recruitment, searching for the right employee, getting to know them, determining if they are a good fit, steering clear of not so kosher applicant’s and so forth… However, very little articles focus on tricks and tips the recruiter can use not only to be a better recruiter, but to actually make informed decisions.

human-resources-by-onurdongelJob recruitment is based on whether or not an applicant can complete the job description. This is determined by 3 things, education, experience, and WHO you have worked for. No doubt, that getting on with Bombardier looks better on your resume than Mom & Pop’s Coffee Shop. So why are there so many dysfunctional employees in an office, why is no work getting done? Because people lie. It’s plain and simple. People have a natural incline to want to be better than what they really are, after all, we are all struggling to get ahead. People lie about their education, work history, job titles, and oh so much more. Well, in an attempt to weed out the liars, psychometric testing was introduced. What a joke that is. It guarantees results with personality testing, education testing, and profile compilation- all by asking some questions on a computer screen. Something about this smells of lazy 4 day old tacos to me. You want a better example?- Check out how accurate eHarmony testing was. Yeah, that’s what I thought. Success rates are almost as high as a spider outrunning liquid chocolate at the factory. So in an attempt to help todays recruiter be a better recruiter, and draw out more information from their candidate than any CPU screen could do, check out these tips:

1) Get Over Yourself. I have met a lot of men and women who think hiring and firing is all about being able to read people and determine whether or not they can do the job. Ultimately I find a lot of recruiters to be stuck up because the truth is, they have a lot of power- being able to determine your employment fate. So as a forewarning from an HR Strategist to the Recruiter, get over yourself. When candidates walk into the office and are more nervous than a shaved terrier, let me remind you that you could be the Hamburglar, and they will still be just as nervous. Employment is nervous for everyone. This is not about you.

2) You Don’t Know Everything- and neither do they. Some recruiters have a misconception that because they may interview high profile candidates that means that they themselves are either high profile, or they have a superpower that allows them to soak up all the knowledge from this individual and whammo-bammo, they are now Executive Directors! Just because you have a list of questions in front of you with four syllable words on the paper, does not mean you know everything about the job. A good recruiter researches the job title in different capacities so they can provoke incorrect answers or detect lies from a fraudulent applicant. You need to know how the Executive Assistant looks, acts, and what the language differences are between one that works in a non-profit office, and one that works in a corporate office. In addition, if the EA has been responsible for community liaising and social networking, don’t be so horrified if on their resume it says, “Melissa Dupree, #awesomechick99 FBMellimelonD, pursuing meaningful career as an EA w/ Global Assistants where I can use my skills to 3xx capability.” Admittedly, it could be seen as a little unprofessional, but check the job history- did this person just rock out on the community service awards and demonstrate incredible ability to build relationships and an agency’s reputation? The culture difference on paper just made sense. So take it for what it’s worth.

ss-recruiting-bootstrapped3) Get to know Transferable Skill Sets. Why? Because silly goose, this makes you money! I once had a recruiter tell me that because I had a Social Work degree, my job was with families, I had no place in the corporate world. Needless to say, I walked out of that interview. Many people don’t know that in your Social Work degree you can specialize in Law and Business Management like I did, where they teach you how to start and run your own business, apply for funding, hire, fire, work with difficult people, know the in’s and out’s and many loopholes of legislation, and develop finely tuned management skills. How do you think the average Social Worker does such difficult work?- they have to know everything there is to know about all the critical stakeholders to their job that includes, municipal/provincial/federal government systems, funding, systems, policy, human rights, networking, business management, people management, conflict resolution, threat analysis, and more. So when someone says I have a degree in PoliSci, don’t just think they’re good for working at City Hall. Remember that they have to learn diplomacy, tact, systems, order, legislation, current affairs = strategy, history, and more. This just made them a prime candidate for working with grants and funding, being a community liaison, technical writing, and other related things. People have potential. Don’t forget it. Please don’t oppress them into one role. Give everyone a chance at greatness.

4) Use Your Body Language to Test their Boundaries. One thing as a war strategist they teach you is terrain. Know what lays ahead of you and test whether it is an illusion by making smoke and watch where your enemy appears. This is metaphorical (Sun Tzu) and can be applied to so many scenarios. This time, we are using it with body language. I once was teamed up with a psychotherapist, during an interview who kicked the applicant under the table  twice, feigning “Whoops!” What was he doing?- he was testing the applicant’s boundaries. How did they respond? Were they even more nervous, did they get angry, did they kick back, did they not even really care, were they put off? So many possibilities. In another interview, I had a colleague come in late to the interview, pull up a chair RIGHT beside the applicant and sit down so close next to them, they were almost on top of them. Again, same questions, how do they respond? Do they politely pull away, offer to make room, get angry, get nervous, what? It doesn’t sound nice to put minor stressors on people applying for jobs- however with the number of people that apply for jobs who are committing fraud- I think it’s fair to employ tactics to soft out the liars. Other tactics include a ridiculously firm handshake, constant unwavering eye contact, give the applicant the wobbly chair, turn up/down the heat in extreme, give them hot water instead of cold water…. there are so many tricks of the trade used when interviewing. Have fun :)timemachine

5) Don’t Judge, Ask Questions. I have an extreme scenario for you, but none the less based off of a true story. I had once interviewed an absolutely lovely applicant, polished, poised, a little over dressed for the job, but who cares- they fit the bill and had amazing potential. My interview companion spits out, “They slept their way to the top, you can totally tell.” Whoa!? Wtf?! I didn’t realize you had a MA in behavioural studies to know that!? Stop being so judgemental! Just because someone is younger than you, has climbed higher than you, and has way more potential than you, does not mean they have gone about it in unscrupulous ways. Put aside your own issues, your own insecurities, and judgements, and be honest. This is why as an interview panel, we ask questions. Don’t assume someone is lying, or playing you. Typically the one’s who boast the expertise are the one’s who are working the hardest to sell you something. Don’t overlook that with your panel, the applicant, or yourself.

6) Trust Your Gut. Too many times there is one person on the interview panel who says, “I don’t know. Something just wasn’t right.” Remember the expression, “One of these things is not like the other.” Chances are, this person has picked up on this. Occasionally you really like someone as a professional, but personally you detect something chilly, creepy, eerie, offputting, foreign, or you just can’t put your finger on it.” I would forewarn you to stay away from these people. Ten years ago the stats for sociopaths was 1/99. Today, the stats are 1/10. Strong pathology alone is a statistical achievement at 1/4. Now, very few people can diagnose a sociopath and other sorts of pathology. It can take up to 20 years to really know if someone is a sociopath. But on that note, be safe, and be careful. You don’t know who you are bringing into the workplace, and you are ethically liable as a recruiter, and as HR.

7) Interview Applicant’s Who’s Name’s You Can’t Pronounce. HR stats show that for every Anglosaxon name on a resume, they receive 1/10 call backs. Every African-American or Latin name is 1/15. Every Arabic, Slavic, and other name is 1/20. Tough crowd. That means that valuable, educated, promising candidates are being overlooked for their name. You may have read the article I wrote previously on this topic exclusively. It’s tough to get a job if your name happens to Ryseai Aminoltajari. It’s surprising to learn on top of this how many applicants have already shortened their name to Rys Amin, and still don’t get a call back. Yet they have ample education from accredited western universities, excellent work experience, stellar references, and a local address so you know they can make it into the job easy- but no. They are still not getting callbacks. This has almost become an untapped hidden source to the job market. As a recruiter, it would be wise to contact these individuals and cash in on this high standing wealth of applicants. Remember you can always google how to say their name, or simply ask them. They will be too thrilled they got a callback to even notice you asked how to pronounce their name.

I hope this helps for now my HR cohorts! Good luck, and Happy Headhunting!

Good Morning Embezzlement!- What Will You Be Drinking Today?

The slap tickle offenses at the office take a back seat when corporate criminal charges are involved. So when I learned an office I had previously worked with through change management had the CAO and minion assistant in bed together with potential embezzlement charges, I was oddly pleased and disgusted.

ImageAfter an 80% overhaul of staff, management, policies, systems, and the monthly coffee subscription- you would have thought positive change was approaching right? No. My recommendation to put the CAO on suspension along with dirty faced said minion was because the two were power mongers, and I could smell trouble but couldn’t put my finger on it. They were too smug, smooth, and what I did find when I audited the assistant’s files, were personal information files on all the employees. No, no, not  employee files. You may have misheard- information files- as in, potential blackmail files. I recommended disciplinary action immediately and to launch an internal investigation. What was interesting, was the CEO felt she was desperate for cash, had huge amounts of compassion for her and instead offered her a few extra vacation days, time off, and benefits. Shoot me now. I do have a love for this particular CEO, as my cohort called him, “the eloquent beast”. He truly is a beast of a man, looking vicious…. sort of like you wouldn’t be surprised to find out if he ate candied hearts for breakfast. You know the sort. But after many years of being my favorite kind of crisis intervention worker, he had grown a tremendous soft spot for people who simply do not know any better. This was his first time as a CEO, and he did indeed want to be fair, diplomatic, and merciful (getting what you don’t deserve). Coupling this with his faith as a man of God- the goodness in his heart truly makes up for other people’s wrong doings. I respect this man, he is one of my mentor’s, and I understand his decision in this matter, however I do not agree with it.

I understand mercy and grace. However, I agree with limitations on it when thousands of dollars are being discovered in embezzlement. Not to mention harsh and unfair treatment of employees, blackmail, and fraud. Sounds to me that some lay off’s are in order. But that’s only because my values tell me not to associate with this kind. What happened to David’s strategies? He acted swiftly, with compassion, and had mercy for the soul of man but it did not stop him from keeping with natural consequences. I suppose I have something to learn here. I will chat more with the CEO after his txt the other day of, “I would welcome your return here!!!” I bet. The truth is, I would love to go back. It was a fabulous office, despite the problems. After doing so much change management, I have learned that every office has problems (I know a lot of you are thinking, what else is knew?). But so many of us associate problems with money, bitchy people, stupid people, office cliques, budget cuts, and so forth. My kind of usual problems are typically fraud, blackmail, embezzlement, theft, sexual harassment, labour disputes, and so forth. It’s just a matter of if you’re comfortable with the toxic tactics your opponent is using. Here, I get it. I know what the problems are, I like the people (even the stupid ones), and I enjoy working with all of them. Heck, the crazy just makes my day a little more interesting and shakes things up a bit.

A Dinner Party with the Unusual Suspects

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I promote dinner parties for a few different reasons, a) they are a great way to have a blast without relying on club music and heavy alcohol b) even better way to destress with a group of friends and get ample support c) fabulous strategy to network and build professional and social connections- d) and the last reason?- Food among good people of course!!

2 of the best dinner party gifts I have received include a giant pack of smoked, extra thick, bacon, and the next was a set of coasters circa style 1950’s with a classy woman on them quoting, “Wine is how classy people get shit faced”. Typically I host dinner parties in exchange for the guest pass of a bottle of wine, craft beer, dessert, or an item for my home…. (I have some tres chic napkins and napkin holders thanks to the savvy shopper who got them on clearance).

But among the friends and good company, of all the dinner party themes I have had at my home, James Bond, Murder Mystery/Sleuth, Super Hero, Star Wars, Classy Corporate, Seasonal, Spooky Mystery, Greek, Arabian Nights, Witchy Woman, and Alcoholics Unanimous….. the most interesting trinkets left behind were that of a no themed party with the guest list of, 2 MCFD workers, 1 FMEP worker, 1 Social Worker, 1 Border Security, 2 Military (1 Marine vet, 1 foot soldier active), Executive Chef, and an Events Photographer. Our menu was a classy bacon themed night among professionals equipped with an appy of mini bacon caesars and bacon wrapped scallops, the main of garlic focaccia grilled topped with bacon jam, pulled pork, bacon bits, and petit onion rings, and finally for dessert was a (no bacon for overkill) Jewish cheesecake served with optional blueberry sauce. That night was a great night full of craft beer and good wine. By the time the night had ended, I was cleaning up (admittedly throwing almost everything that didn’t have food in it, into the dishwasher, playing Maytag tetris) when I came across some things I had to take a double look at.

The first was a saran wrap bag of mushrooms in a napkin on my sofa…. the second was a tiny baggie of cocaine in my washroom…. the third was a joint next to the pack of cigarettes and lighter someone left by my door on the entrance table…. the fourth was a water bottle of gin in my fridge…… the fifth was a shirt…. WHO the hell are these people!?!?!?

I was completely dumbfounded and tried to catch a sense of reality wondering…. “Do I txt my guests and kindly let them know they may have forgotten something?” What the hell is the next step?? For me, I have a no drug rule in the house. I flushed the drugs. As for the gin- spirits do not go to waste in my home- that went to good use. As for the shirt, I facebook’d a picture of it, and found an owner. It got me wondering on a professional level, seriously, who are these people? We all work reputable jobs, have credible reputations, volunteer, give back to our community, and yet some of them feel they need to dope at a legit dinner party. I find it bothersome though because I see drugs and alcohol as serious as religion. I do not impose alcohol on anyone, despite that I have a drink every other night. It’s a moral thing, and I reference the bible when I say that alcohol disturbs the spirit. I would not want anyone to impose disturbing behaviour on me, so why would I do that to them? What respect does someone have for my home when they bring illegal substances in? Do me the courtesy of loading before you arrive on my premise, not between the first and second course. Thank goodness my present love interest the narc cop, wasn’t helping me clean up- the evening could have gone a couple different ways.

On that note, I have a reasonable expectation for this at a few of my other dinner parties, but not my professional dinner party! It has definitely added a bit of mystery to the professional friendship zone… I told my Marine buddy, who laughed and said he wished he had stayed for the clean up just to see the look on my face. But who knew? I guess you never really do know your friends… but it adds some spice to the relationship dynamics!

Mercy & Grace in the workplace

When facing public humiliation, disgrace, and a tarnished reputation, most of us pray for mercy and grace. We wish to be absolved from our wrong doings and go on to do better things, be given a better chance, and gain more positive enablers. So when I found out my beloved agency had an embezzlement scandal, I was rather shocked.

Sometime previously, there had been investigations completed, disciplinary action taken, and a conflict resolution specialist brought in as recommended by my action plan. Unfortunately the termination of employment for fraud and false representation had not been honoured.  I have tremendous respect for my former CEO and have tried to understand the decisions made that kept the individuals who participated in criminal activity there.

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Someone once told me that grace is a pardon of good will and faith, while mercy is getting what you don’t deserve.

Let me ask you, as managers and executive staff, do we not need mercy and grace in the workplace? It compliments forgiveness without explanation and complicated detail… More of a, “if you’re going to shoot yourself in the foot, you’re going to shoot yourself in the foot.” Most people deserve a second chance- I say that with my own bias towards anyone who’s a pedaphile or rapist- not acceptable under any circumstances and no, you don’t get a second chance in my books. But with that being said, I think we would all hope for a second chance because we all make mistakes. As managers, supervisors, assistants, friends, lovers, and someone’s child- we all make mistakes. A colleague of mine chuckled, “No one makes it through childhood unscathed.” And isn’t that the truth? We are not golden children who are golden statuesque adults of perfection. I admit, the workplace remedy of grace and mercy has further enabled my own sleep at night. It’s as though that one extra chance of walking the road with someone ensures you do your part on behalf of social exchange and give them the opportunity for change. And, if they are going to shoot themselves in the foot, then oh well. Employees want someone to believe in them. They don’t want someone watching them expecting a screw up. They don’t want their position to be undermined, nor taken for granted.

My experience has been that having good faith in sometimes even what appears to be the worst employee, really pays off. No- not because they marvelously change, but because instead of undermining them as a whole, even drowning in screw ups, you can sometimes make out a glimmer of talent- and as that wonderful employer that you are- you place them in another position within the company where that glimmer of talent encompasses their entire being and they can rock out as the best employee for that job ever. That’s called talent management- and by the way, it shouldn’t take HR to do talent management. It should be decent human beings who are rooting and hoping for one another. I think that’s well enough to ask for.

I hope that my employer continues to give me mercy and grace- just as swiftly as I am to judge others or make rash decisions. And before the few of you go out on a limb and start listing your degrees in assessment let me kindly remind you that it’s illegal to make decisions on an employee’s job based on predicting the future- it’s also against most spiritual practices. Please make sure you use your strategic planning for this one. Everyone deserves the feasible chance to get ahead. There’s enough success in the world to go around.

Before you get the interview….

 

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There’s nothing like that first phone call, “We’ve received your resume, and upon review have decided to ask you to come in for an interview…..” Lets face it, for those of us who have “career hustle” (the desire to climb the ladder, or achieve a good opportunity, or perhaps a better pay cheque) we have our interview clothes on standby, the interview “look” ready, right down to the hair and shoes to a T. But more and more common, is the pre screen phone interview. It’s typically anywhere from 10-30minutes, and consists of questions that blend between the formal interview questions and questions that draw out your personality. So. Do you have your interview “voice” down? I have “office voice”. Anytime I am on the phone with a colleague, at the office, or remotely doing anything serious, office voice takes over. It’s a well enunciated, grammatically correct, calm, confident speech pattern I have spent some time working on. I have invested in speech therapy for this and believe me, it has paid off huge! Think of it as the equivalent of joining a speech club or something of the sort. Your interview voice should have a character of its own, it should convey strong charisma, confidence, intellect, and mirror the tone of the screener on the other end of the line.

Notice how the other person is talking, the pace, the rhythm and cues of curiosity, readiness, confidence, etc… It helps to stand up, even pace or walk, when on the phone. Standing lets your adrenaline flow through your entire body and exit through controlled movements as opposed to just bottling up and making you stiff and anxious sitting down. It helps to do your hair, makeup, and clothes as if you were going to an interview, or in a way that makes you feel great about yourself. The point is to build up your confidence and increase your perceived self worth. Often when in an interview, the applicant may feel extreme pressure, stress, and be wondering if they are “good enough”. Remember you are valuable, an asset to any team, and it’s best to be appreciated in an interview, stay away from environments that make you feel tolerated. Good luck!

Look Who’s Playing HR

My biggest beef for the HR professional and unprofessional of the world is who is acting with moral and intent vs who is the bumbling fool in the office.

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For those of you unfamiliar with the education of an HR, let’s list the courses taken in both the certificate and degree program:

40 hrs + for each course including Business Management, Organizational Behaviour, HR Management, Benefits, Performance Management Training, Labour Relations, Health & Safety, Recruitment, Project Management, complete the list of full time courses taken. A maximum of 20 hrs will be spent on the next courses, Harassment Training, Conflict Resolution, Change Management, Communication, Conducting Effective Interviews, Building a Positive Workplace, International HR, Harassment and Investigations, Compensation, Community HR, HRIS, Tools for Training, Cross Cultural HR.

This seems like a sparse list of studies and training for an HR professional. Especially since typical job descriptions for HR and growing demand for community liaison, project mapping, action plans, policy writing, staff training & coaching, debriefing and counsel, translation, complex conflict resolution, workplace safety, crisis intervention, analysis and response, socioeconomic development, job description and report writing, talent management, payroll management, labour relations management, employment standards implementation, human rights awareness, employee wellness, disciplinary action and more are sought after skills of the trade. My own education consists of a bachelor’s in Social Work, an additional bachelor’s in Political Science, a Masters in War Strategy in Urban Communities, additional certificates in Conflict Resolution, NVCI, Character Assessment, Profiling, Threat Analysis & Response, languages: English, French, Spanish, Arabic, Russian, and this is all on top of my HR certificate. Okay, so I’m a little over educated for the standard HR position, but without at least half of my education, I honestly don’t know how I would be an adequate HR.

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Human Resources manages such sensitive information. They get to know their employees on a whole new level, including disabilities, disciplinary action, reports, skill level, benefits, payroll, reviews, office conflict (and all the gossip that follows), they are privied to company budget information, cut backs, pay increases, bonus info, company vision, projected plans, vision change, and so much more. I do however suspect that as the HR position grows, so the required education will too. My biggest pet peeve for HR is glorified office managers who have zip training and score this amazing position. So much of HR is people oriented with tact and diplomacy. It takes a talented chameleon to go into a work environment and revolutionize positive change management from the ground up. There are many misconstrued ideas of what HR does and the role they hold within an organization. The old school myth is that HR is there to play problem solver for employees and smooth over relations. Or the flip side is that they are there to play Office Manager and handle payroll. Unfortunately these are bad reasons to take on an HR. The HR should be focused on people management, strategic planning, ensuring everyone is on task, assisting the senior management with goal development, and from there may optionally hold a speciality in the workforce such as trainer, recruiter, hiring manager, benefits manager, analysis, advisor, and so forth. What’s even more unfortunate is the people recruiting for HR seldom actually know what to look for and thus hire an individual lacking in skills. It is a vicious cycle for HR to face, especially those who are adequately trained, to step into this kind of situation.

Whoa to the HR- you face a rocky road. But don’t worry, with any luck you can write your own job description.

Paint the Competition

Paint the Competition

Good morning Human Resources professionals and hiring panel! Did a tablespoon of racist get stirred into your coffee this morning? Today’s harrowing story is Rodriguez vs. Roberts in the office and the interview. While most of us are aware that many people accompany their morning java with a side of judgement cake and vindictive shots (“Who the hell gave Bob the right to have the corner office!?”) the racist sweetener in the coffee seems to bypass us all as invisible as the addictive qualities in Starbucks coffee. So remember the next few detailed reports and take heed in interviews and annual reviews. You are being judged by your name and appearance. Don’t act so surprised.

1) Rodriguez vs Roberts. Stats show that when sending out resumes of equally varying education, work experience, and qualifications, it takes 15+ applications to get a call back for Rodriguez while only 10 applications or less for Roberts. Now, why would that be? A lot of the stat reports say that there is a strong association between foreign names with blue collar, low income, under educated, and less ambitious applicants. Whereas names that are traditionally Anglo-saxon such as Roberts, are looked upon more favorably as successful, accomplished, educated, ambitious, and come from a higher socioeconomic standing. I have a sneaking suspicion the Gaglardi’s and Lalji family of Vancouver may differ on judging a name by cultural heritage and back it with their billion dollar worth. However, unfortunately the stats are showing today’s professionals skip the Jamal’s with a Masters degree and call back the Jane’s with a bachelor’s. My personal suspicion is the people who are taking their coffee this way are undereducated themselves and lack sociopolitical intelligence in addition to having low self esteem and other complex’s. Some of you may be reading this and be wondering, what does low self esteem have to do with this? Well, let me tell you. Some individuals who feel poorly about themselves (this is not a person who is into pity parties, or someone who is even aware they feel poorly about themselves, hell, it may only be in 3 key areas) may feel bad about how far they’ve come in life, so then they read a name of another culture, of someone who is better educated than them, or perhaps has more experience than them, and this triggers jealousy and resentment from the person reviewing the applicant. They subconsciously take it personally and make the decision that this person has no right applying for this position, or getting that promotion. Simply that they have, “Come as far as they can and ever will.” Ever wonder why your boss is a raging idiot and how the f** did they get the job??? They were most likely promoted by someone who had a huge complex and did not have education (again, I don’t care if you have a PhD, if you have not done self work through your education, it’s a piece of paper until you prove otherwise by being awesome at what you do) to foresee the problems it could cause down the road. This person didn’t see them as a threat, more likely a joke who would get hauled up later. This is why promotions are dangerous, so much is based on matching dysfunctions and complex’s. Granted not all promotions operate this way, but it takes a soapy clean agency not to. I have to be honest with you, I’m not gonna promote Ginny because she has a masters degree, even if I love her- I’m going to promote her because she won’t give me guff, can do the job, is manageable, and won’t compete with me and gun for my job. (FYI for those of you gunning for a promo, look like your accidently smart and initiative just happens to fall into your lap- that way no one takes it personally or like you’re competing with them.)

Some agencies CSO, CAO, COO, will actually take the lead themselves to ask employees to change their “work name” to fit in, be more “accommodating” and “approachable”. The Jose’s become Josh or John, the Juanita’s become Janna, Jane, or Jen, and the Rafael becomes Ray, and so forth. I am guilty of having a work name myself, I use my middle name from the Welsh side of my family rather than the other. And yes, sadly, this gets me more interviews, and less racial slurs than my other name…

2) Fat vs. Skinny. I absolutely abhor these labels. I think I fall into the fat category as a size 12. Odd, I think I’m average, however there a slew of people who read a few good books and the latest issue of GQ to disagree with me with what domesticated impoverished opinion they call “educated”. No, no, I’m sorry, I don’t care what the Oprah book club taught you, or how Dr. Oz preached about thin for good health let me educate you in the world of assessment where CSO’s, CEO’s, and CAO’s pick up on these cues compared to average management in less ambitious roles. Let’s examine them and let me encourage you- google some multi-millionaires, CEO’s, and big cheese’s and really take a good look at what they look like (Please watch the first episode of Dragon’s Den). Most are average to a bit over weight, they have good hair, good skin, a decent wardrobe (pretty corporate generally), they tend to not even whiten their teeth (check, Jimmy Pattison), and they have strong family ties and do less partying and fear the no gluten diet.

a) Weight – sizes 0-8; The Average Management: successful, ambitious, vain, smart; The CSO: insecure, competitive, ego driven, fake.

b) Weight sizes 8-14; The Average Management: lazy, unmotivated, average intelligence, will do grunt work, competitive, over compensating; The CSO: ambitious, comfortable, settled, mature, humble, hard worker, trustworthy.

c) Weight sizes 14 +; The Average Management: lazy, untrustworthy, secretive, jealous, low inteligence; The CSO: average intelligence, “too-settled”, secretive, insecure, polar personality (will either be a very hard worker, or not at all), waste company time.

These are very interesting evaluations taught in business, social work, strategy, consulting, and personality profiling. The most intriguing part of the training is only social work and some courses in personality profiling actually touch base on how to tell if some one is “faking” the skinny, for example, are they drugging, alcoholing, perhaps it was a birth defect, addictions, or are they naturally slim?- look at their wrists, neck, collar bone structure, and finger alignment. What if they are over weight? It could be from medications for health, drugging, alcoholing, addictions, trauma, or is it natural? Look at their ankles, eyes, temples, neck, belly to width ratio, and skin colour (hint, long time marijuana users have a slight grey tinge to their skin despite ethnicity). So, for example if you are on the hiring panel and interview a woman who is over weight and you just read an article in random girly magazine that battered women tend to gain weight unintentionally as it is the body’s way of protecting its organs with fatty tissue for safety- would you assume that this woman has been battered? NO! You are not qualified or have the education to determine any of that. What if I countered what you read by saying they also lose a tremendous amount of weight unintentionally as the body is preparing for flight and in addition constant stressors can burn calories as adrenaline is constantly making the body work harder. Not so sure about that first theory now huh? Well, the person interviewing you didn’t know all that. F****.

3) Glasses vs No Glasses. I wear fake glasses. Don’t judge me. With a $80k salary job and 6 weeks holiday you’d wear fake glasses too. I don’t wear them all the time, just during interviews and key meetings. Stats show that glasses are associated with “book worms” and “geeks” who have been the victim’s of media fronting them as super intelligent with high IQ’s, critical thinking techniques, an inability to get caught up in office gossip, trustworthy, reliable, and good with money. So the next time you go into an interview, sport some four eyes and win ’em over.

4) Marriage & Children. If anyone asks, you are in a long term relationship (or married), and you want children (or actually do have kids). For some reason there is a lot of discrimination against those of us who are slow to marry and do not want children. NEWS FLASH, infidelity and divorce lessen the closer to age 40 you get married. Don’t believe me?- look up the stats with StatsCanada, BCASW, and published psychology journals. This doesn’t mean to say because you got married at 18 you or your spouse will have an affair, no, not at all, it just means because your brain does not fully develop until you are 30 means you have a higher chance of choosing a more successful partner. Also, you will have settled in your personality and worked out more of your issues so you are not as likely to leave over a spat, and you will be more critical and know when to disagree and actually fight it out. I think most people see marriage and children as a milestone of happiness they would like everyone to see. My buddy thinks anal sex is happiness, but I don’t. He respects that and doesn’t think any less of me. That’s a bit of a contrast to the subject huh? Not really. Your decisions in the bedroom are as valuable as your decisions in the public eye. Why?- because each and every one of us is valuable and has the right to do what’s best for them. If you don’t want to be a parent, then you know for sure, I got your back. If being a parent is the fulfillment goal of your life, I also got your back. I’d rather you make the decision (even if you change your mind or always wonder, or never wonder) than be luke warm and undecided and never arrive at a decision. But, on that note, if you make the decision to be okay with whatever happens, more power to you. Unfortunately, the hiring panel may not see it that way. Often people who are married, or in committed relationships are seen as grounded, trustworthy, family oriented “family values”, ethical (did someone forget rapists have children too?), hard working, goal oriented, honourable and virtuous. People who keep themselves “attractive” or polished, and are single with no kids are seen as promiscuous, threatening, enjoy sexually frustrating others, need to be put in their place, care free, critical, more educated but contrasted with lesser intelligence, honest but hard edged, and so forth. It is as if single people are judged for having the wrong ambitions and goals in life. Oh well, tell me that when I’m CEO, and we’ll see ;) Oh right, those were MY ambitions, not YOURS. Case proven.

If you do not fit into any of the above criticisms, stereotypes, or discriminatory references then I greatly applaud you! Please keep doing what you’re doing! If you have been successful with your own name, please keep using it! You are building a pathway for those who cannot, and opening doors for the future. I understand that some of you may not have even heard of this before, please google it! You will see how common it is both in blogger articles and accredited articles. For the rest of you, hang in there. Work is a cactus, thorny, dry, and casting an awkward shadow over your path- but remember that shadows don’t last forever and once you cut through the thorns, there is some nectar of wisdom to be found in the cut and the strategy used to overcome the prickles of the work environment. Good night and good luck!