Why Being Inconspicuous Could Save Your Life

We're not suspicious...Forget the glitz and glam. The reasons people will set you back, pass you up for opportunities and target you to be a scapegoat.

Be a little inconspicuous. Never killed anyone.


Don’t sweat the small stuff. The booming voice, peacock attitude, bodily landscaping (mostly face), and debonair attitude. Skip the class and swag and adopt more Robert Redford and Nathalie Portman, and less Tom Cruise and Jennifer Lopez.

Don’t tell anyone how smart you are.
I use to have a coworker who liked to brag about her name, “My name means Fighter” and my thoughts were, “No kidding, that’s why you’re so difficult.” I hate stupid people who brag about themselves. I duck into a “Scrubs” fantasy world. The problem is stupid people (most of the population) brag about themselves because deep down inside God gave them a magical gift of knowing they are stupid. Rather than accept and work to change that, they just spew verbal crap all day long. So when they find out you are smart or have some tact to your life, “Watch Your Back” as Benny Cassette once said. They will out do Tom Cruise in the meanest version of “Revenge Impossible” subplot: best served cold. People are born with the gifts of insecurity and revenge. In fact it seems to run quite rampid, whether justified or horrific it’s demonstrated from, The Lion King, Total Recall, Dr. No and Rambo (probably the best example).

Let someone have and love the limelight
If there’s any light you should be in, it should be rose coloured. Leave the attraction seeking to the attraction seekers. It causes drama, chaos, upset and a spotlight where others will wish you to fail. It’s easier to fall harder when people are building an alter or pedastal beneath you. Run the other way! Remember it’s all in your head. If a secret agent can keep his cover under wraps, then you can keep your ego in check. By not attracting attention you are eliminating the chance of people liking and noticing you and your talents, hence eliminating competition. If you can separate yourself from the limelight lovers than you’re also setting up a pretty sweet, laid back, easy going atmosphere for yourself where you won’t be scrutinized.

The killer won’t get you.
There’s three victems to every subplot: the main character, the attraction seeker, and the racial minority. Don’t be the main character unless it’s a romance or super spy saving the world, don’t attract attention unless it’s written into the script, and don’t look like a racial minority. Bare with me, do your best.
If you fit into a stereotype it can attract attention thus making you more susceptible to trouble. Hey now, I’ve seen every Stallone, Schwarzenegger, and James Bond film; not to forget every episode of MASH; I know what I’m talking about….. O.o reocurring theme get your attention? It should. Enemies and predator’s will target you based on what stereotype you portray. I’m not saying to make like Beth from News Radio, but originality is good. In different scenerios think of the killer as your boss, roommate, friend, family member, coworker, milkman, etc. It may seem strange, but seeing as the innate need to wipe out the competition is in everyone = this represents everyone.

Stop monologuing on stage.
I used to work with this guy who would monologue during our working together. To figure out if he was addressing me or not, I would ask him, “Monologuing or dialoguing today?” And he would fill me in. You should not be sharing with too many people your strategies to succeeding. This is another attention getter as not many people actively think out their day to day issues and complexities. When someone finds out that you are and how you are going to accomplish said strategies, you become a threat to them. The threat is you will do better hence be better than them. People are jealous of millionaires. However just because one person makes a million dollars does not take away your chance of making a million dollars. I don’t blame Cuba Gooding Jr for blowing my chance in the actors studio do I? No. So why do we blame other people for doing better than us?- it doesn’t take away our chance at doing well. Unfortunatly not everyone feels, thinks or cares to understand this concept. That’s why it’s dangerous to share. Hear me complaining about having good friends in my blog?- it’s because I’m complaining about people I have to pretend with to succeed, not just anyone. Finding non competitive, healthy, positive people is difficult. Be careful who you trust.


Why Dysfunction will get YOU Ahead


Lets face it- we love people who are like us. We like people who share the same philosophical thoughts on Nintendo and how PSP never really made the cut save for some precious Zelda afterthought. We like people who are coffee lovers like us. Who live fast, like us. We like the swag of materialism and txting on the train, like us. We like the True Blood references and TVO shows, like us.

Gee, I can’t help but think something is not right.
“I don’t think those talking pictures are gonna make it in Hollywood, do you?”

People who meet people who are unlike them, turn them down. Tactics include:
-insult (adds to injury, no?)
-public humiliation

-uncomfortable with friendly boundaries
-low self esteem
-closed minded
-poor socializing skills
-low social intelligence

People who are familiar with people who are unlike them, accept them.
-they understand they can accept them without agreeing with them
-healthier levels of self esteem
-higher emotional intelligence
-come to terms with relational dynamics
And quite frankly, some have just been kicked enough to be gracious

When you look at your family, work, love and religious institution, and feel you don’t quite make the cut- ask yourself: what’s the difference between them and me? It could be more than you know…
-chaos levels (they may be more, or you may be more, than the other)
-do you compete like them?
-how much do they share about their lives? (sometimes sharing more or less can be used as a harsh judge in relationships both political and romantic)

And the biggest question: do you match their dysfunction?
Dysfunction includes the things mentioned above. There are a few extra’s to add… These include: scapegoating, gaslighting, triangleing, and more. They are games that are played within families and then transitioned into the workplace and romantic relationships. Often people bond with others who resemble a family member- not in looks- but in persona.

So when you don’t fit in, ask yourself- am I gossiping too much or too little?
Next question: do I want to play their game and bring toxicity into my life JUST to belong? Is it really worth it? Some people may argue that for a pay cheque it is worth it. I can’t help but feel if this is something you are going to play into, then maybe don’t make it last. I think like the Natives of the Congo: everytime you take a photo of yourself you are losing a part of your soul. So if you play games and take on other people’s dysfunction, what more could you be losing?

Believe me, trust me, indulge me: it’s not you, it’s them.

This is grown up, adult, peer pressure.