We have heard the expression, “That girl is crazy!” or “That guy is psycho!”
I bet hard cash many people would be surprised to learn the stats and info about how many psychopath’s and narcissists live in their neighbourhood, shop at their grocery store, work at their company and are in their family.
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“Because it is my nature, you HAVE to forgive me for being selfish.”
Your everyday psychopath is not JUST outright crazy. There is indeed method to their madness. Here’s a few cues to pick up on:
1) lack of/no empathy or compassion
Empathy is the ability to experience the pain and misfortune of others even if you have never experienced their situation before. Compassion is sympathy of sorrow with the desire to alleviate suffering. Not everyone is born with the ability to be empathetic, however most people possess empathy OR the ability to be compassionate. When someone is neither, watch out. Chances are the feelings centre of their brain is underdeveloped. People who have a underdeveloped feelings and emotional interpretation centre often do not have the ability to grow emotionally thus making them more susceptible to abusing and taking advantage of others.
2) Reasoning for selfish and destructive behavior
With an attitude like “well, it’s just my nature”, that is unacceptable. It is a dog’s nature to bite people, but we discipline and teach the dog otherwise (domesticating) so why would people be any different? Innapropriate, offensive, and destructive behaviour is recognized world over as dangerous and harmful- it is not acceptable.
Think back to when the internet was new on the market. There was always someone sitting at home on their computer, typing upsetting things and using fighting words. Even then it was not acceptable. Their argument was, “If you don’t want to be criticised, then don’t post online” whereas now those people are labeled “Trolls”. Even in cyber space, there’s no room for selfish and destructive behaviour. Morals and ethics do rule our conduct to some degree.
“Greed, envy, sloth, pride and gluttony: these are not vices anymore. No, these are marketing tools. Lust is our way of life. Envy is just a nudge towards another sale. Even in our relationships we consume each other, each of us looking for what we can get out of the other. Our appetites are often satisfied at the expense of those around us. In a dog-eat-dog world we lose part of our humanity.”
3) Check out the goals of a person by doing a physical assessment
-this one can be a bit tricky and usually you are only permitted to learn things such as this once you get specialized training in Social Services, Social Work, Psychology or other….
-what are they wearing? Check out how conformed this person is and how domesticated they are. Are they falling for societie’s peer pressure? There was an article written on people who wore crocs. It proposed a theory that these people were suggestible and easily lead- hung up on trend. Psychopath’s generally want to look important…
“Humility is nothing but truth, and pride is nothing but lying.”
St Vincent de Paul
… so they will follow others around, mimicking their style, life philosophies and personality traits. Many pathological people can’t do anything on their own. Which leads me to my next point:
4) Copy Cat.
So you tell a coworker that your building’s fire alarm went off that week. Now another coworker comes up with the same news, but a little extra drama and detail… Later you mention the new date you’ve got, and soon this same other coworker is reporting a secret affair they are in. Hmmm… this is getting a little wierd, nevermind- it’s probably just coincidence. You then say how busy your work week has been and this coworker goes off on a tangeant about what a work-a-holic they are. Huh. Seems like someone needs some drama and something to compete with….
“Still Don’t Trust Me?”
Why is it so important to these people how fast and easily you trust them? Are they in that big of a hurry to screw you?
Another thing you may notice is where these people live, what restaurants they go to and who they know has seldom come about from their own efforts, but is mimicking someone else’s dream….Think back to the movie, “The Italian Job” (remake). Remember Edward Norton’s character? He had no motivation of his own imagination and ambition. It was all selfish destruction so he could steal the success, happiness and dreams of others. There is a key scene in the movie where Edward Norton’s character asks Stella (Charlize Theron) “Still don’t trust me?” This is a huge red flag. Why MUST you trust someone, and why “still don’t” are they using these shaming words. You are under no obligation to trust anyone. Remember they are shaming you as a tactic to get you to give in. They want something. Don’t let them have it.
Jesus did not trust anyone. I think it’s safe to say based on that you don’t have to either.
“What are we, girlfriends? Let’s go on Oprah and get it over with.”
Why is there such a push to share information? Respect my boundaries, give me space and privacy.
5) The number one reason I hate touching and sharing verbal information is because it is all linked to power, control and manipulation.
Call me paranoid but only 3 groups of people should have physical contact with you over your life span:
Other random groups inlcude:
2) people you bump into
3) strangers who have run away from the Mental Health Clinic and sneak up behind you with surprise attack hugs (ick!)
4) Cops and the Air Marshal following arrest or a cavity search….
Why do people have to touch you? Why do they have to invade your personal space?
“The truest characters of ignorance are vanity and pride and arrogance.”
I’m very wary of people who feel the need to not respect physical boundaries and not have basic courtesy to ask before physically aproaching you. What gives them special permission over everyone else? Red flag.
6) The Look…. you know….
That condescending, sizing you up look. Things to look for:
1)smoothing the lapel….. this is an expression for people who begin to groom themselves, fix their hair, smooth their jacket, finger their eye makeup, touch themseleves around the neck, arms and main body area. People touch and preen for two reasons:
A) they have a crush on you and want to look their best OR…..
B) they are preparing to compete and are feeling self conscious: you are a threat
3) pupils opening (their attention has offcially been fetched)
4) eyebrows raised (you have peeked their interest either as a love interest, or as a threat)- you can tell if you are a threat easier if they purse their lips while/when the eyebrows raise slightly
5) posture will change: this can be to aggressive (peacocking) or smooth like gestures (gellyfish) is a salesman and passive/aggressive stand of attention.
6) Stiff Movements= you have them on edge and ready to attack
Well, that’s all I have for now. The sum of some things to watch for. There are many signs for the psychopath, unfortunatly they are skilled tins of toxicity. They have honed skills of lie detection, fear, and reading body language. The psychopath has an advanced trait of being able to listen to two things at the same time (using both parts of the brain at the same time) which is impossible for us normal folk. Don’t try and take them on- don’t try to expose them. Remember what makes them pathological is that they are willing and ready to harm and destroy people and objects that are in their way in order to attain what they want. Sometimes they are even willing to hurt themselves.
If you see one, Run!